Bill Gainer

A Little Noise

You know
after I get the joint
closed up
at night
I go out
on the
back pouch
and yell out
no, no
no –
don’t do that
and fire off a couple
from my pistol.
The neighbors are scared.
Don’t know
where it’s coming from.
Want to have meeting
put a committee together
get to the bottom of it.
I guess
I’ll go.


Bill Gainer is a storyteller, a humorist, an award winning poet, and a maker of mysterious things. He earned his BA from St. Mary’s College and his MPA from the University of San Francisco. He is the publisher of the PEN Award winning R. L. Crow Publications and is the ongoing host of Red Alice’s Poetry Emporium (Sacramento, CA). Gainer is internationally published and known across the country for giving legendary fun filled performances. His latest book is The Mysterious Book of old Man Poems. Visit him in his books, at his personal appearances, or at his website: